The Best Christ-Hanukkah-Mas Ever! (Transcript)
Mr. Twigs (singing): So prepare your presents and have some joy, 'cause Christmas time is heeere! The children jump up and down with glee and cheer. Child: That was great, Mr. Twigs! Now, will you tell us the story of the best Christ-Hanukkah-mas ever? Mr. Twigs laughs. Mr. Twigs: No, little girl. No I won't. Pip: Aw, come on, I saved Figmentopolis from the nasty Zim-Zam thanks to my new friends, come on! Give them a chance! Mr. Twigs: Wait... yes, I will! Well, it's a little hazy, but it all started 2 million years ago... Pip: It's not 2 million years ago, but yesterday! Mr. Twigs: Right, it all started yesterday... Fade in to the city 2 million years ago. It is snowing. Mr. Twigs (v.o.): ...with two kids name Rudy and Penny along with their blue adventurous pal named Snap, are getting ready for the wonderful holiday. Some carolers sing within a giant snow globe. They sing the word 'la' over and over to the tune of 'Jingle Bells.' A few people are gathered across the street, looking at something. Mr. Twigs (v.o.): Now, The kids, or The Chalkzone Crew, they called, loved Christ-Hanukkah-mas since their first holiday parade! The crowd leaves, revealing that they were standing in front of Rudy, Penny, Pip, and Snap. Rudy wears a Santa costume, Snap wears his reindeer suit, and Penny holds a collection plate on her hands. Rudy has a small bell on his hand and rings it. Snap juggles snowballs from a pile on the ground. Rudy: Excuse me, may I have your attention please!!?? The frame freezes and a comic panel showing Mr. Twigs floats by. Mr. Twigs: But they didn't know much about Christ-Hanukkah-mas now, did they? Snap grabs the panel and throws it away. The frame unfreezes. Rudy: Watch my pet reindeer, Rudolph juggle some snowballs! You never seen anything like this before! Watch my dog eat snow! You! Watch the snow-eating! Rudy sighs. Rudy: The amazing snowball juggling trick isn't working! The people aren't giving us any money. We need money to appear as casual people in silly costumes. Snap fall his face'' into the snow.'' Rudy: Penny? Penny: Yes Rudy? Rudy: How much have we earned? Penny: Well, here's what we got, friend. Rudy'' looks into the collection plate. There is a couple of bucks, some change, a sandwich, and a chocolate heart. Rudy picks up the the sandwich and sniffs it.'' Zim: A tuna sandwich!?! I bet someone is hungry to left this. Rudy keeps'' the sandwich in a plastic bag. Pip who is trying to move with his oversized bag, struggles to move.'' Pip: Why does no one give moneys to you, Rudy!?! Pip'' hears a bell. He looks over at a donation Santa ringing the bell. People give the Santa donations.'' Pip: There! That happy, chappy red human! Pip'' uses his binocular vision. His eyes become red and adjust like lenses. Pip looks at the Santa.'' Pip: Interesting! Snap mistakenly tosses Pip to the side and then leaps into the air. He sees Santa. Snap: Oy calloy! Is he the one giving all the- Snap'' hears another bell and gasps. Snap looks up and sees more donation Santas ringing bells.'' Snap: Huh!?! Hmmm!?! Hmm!?! Oohhh!?! Where is the real Sandy Claws!?! Snap'' leaps back to where Pip, Rudy and Penny are. Snap goes into the Chalkzone Mall. Rudy, Penny and Pip join in. Cut to the mall at dusk. A sign hangs out front that says 'SEE SANTA NOW!' A mall Santa set-up is in the middle of the open area of the mall. A line of children wait to see Santa, with Penny at the front of the line. Snap stands next to the mall Santa, wearing an elf suit. Penny approaches with Snap and sits on Santa's lap.'' Mall Santa: And what do you want, little boy and girl? Santa pats Penny on the head. Penny: Let's see, I wanted a science kit. Wanted to make experiments that I can answer my questions. Mall Santa: Hmm mmm... Snap: I want a all-new, super shiny metallic blue snowboard! Mall Santa: Hmm mmm... Snap: With an additional camera! I can even post my friends to show my tricks! Snap'' flips over onto his head.'' Mall Santa: Hmm mmm... Snap: Here's my whole list... Time passes. Snap is right-side up again. The mall Santa is shaking. He grunts. Penny is seen looking tired, after hearing all of Snap's monologues. Penny: Snap, I think that's... Snap: And a new dirt bike! Mall Santa: Hmm mmm! Snap: And that's everything. Penny: Yep! Just like I wanted to hear! (giggles) Let's go home. Rudy (still in Santa outfit): My little child just loves you and I just... now, Snap! A beeping noise is heard. Snap dives out of the way. A tube appears from the ceiling which sucks everything in the mall Snap collides with the tube, having almost been sucked in as well. Snap: Rudy! You gotta draw something! Rudy draws a lever in order to turn off the machine as Snap falls down after the tube stopped sucking. Rudy: Let's go! Before anyone notices this mess! Rudy'' grunts as he quickly waddles out of the mall with Snap on his shoulder. Cut to Penny's Lab, with snow on the ground and her dome roof. Penny (in her lab coat) types into a control panel within the lab. The mall Santa is strapped onto an experimentation table. Rudy, Snap (out of disguise) and Pip sit next to him. Snap is munching on candy. He sees Penny typing and view screens displaying English text, as well as Pip. '' Rudy: Pip?! Penny'' glances at Pip.'' Penny: Oh, uh, him? His is, my, eh, OTHER sidekick, eh-hm. Yep! Been with me the whole time! Snap: Mmmm-mm! Wait! I'm not the only sidekick around here! Snap'' goes back to gobbling the candy. Penny presses a button on a remote and the examination table tilts forward while Pip does a barrel roll. Pip walks over to Snap, using some mechanical spider legs.'' Penny: Oops, my bad. Pip: I wanna know about this Sandy Claws, please. Snap: Oh... you must mean... Santa! Penny (confused): Santa? Snap: Well, I know he's a funny man with a red hat, white beard, and a twinkle in his eye. He always delivers presents on the real world holiday called Christmas and Christ-Hanukkah-Mas. Plus, he has elves who are his sidekicks. Pip: And they all report to this... San... TAAAA? Snap: Well, nobody's ever seen the real Santa, but the world over the real world and in Chalkzone loves Santa. And everyone waits with hope in their hearts for the day when he returns to his people. Pip: Everyone!?! Let's be Santa's helpers to bring gifts to the Zoners joy! What do you say, Penny? Penny: Hmmm... Alan! Could you make us some costumes to be Santa's helpers for on whole day? Alan: Are you sure, Penny Sanchez? Penny: Yes. Alan: As you wish. Activating new updates to former costumes. A device creates some new upgrades to the costumes the Chalkzone Crew wore earlier. Penny walks over to the computer screens. Her mechanical spider legs retract. The costume status begins to flash on the screen: including designs on the new upgrades featuring a fluffier beard for the Santa costume and a shinier red nose on the Rudolph costume, then the words '12 Days Till' Christ-Hanukkah-Mas.' Penny: Christmas? Hmmmm.... We'll since it's working, I'll try out my mad scientist laugh! Penny'' begins laughing her signature mad scientist laugh. A day calendar counting down to Christmas appears showing the days fly by.'' Snap: Your laugh is annoying me. Penny: Sorry. Pip: I have a plan to make this holiday magical than ever before, and that is part of Phase 1! '' The calendar stops at 2 days until Christmas. Cut to Zim-Zam who is frozen in his ice block until it is completely shattered into fragments. He walks out from it and he laughs as he goes behind a big purple ship. He has his assistants called the Robot Monkeys.'' Zim-Zam: Hah-ha! I'm free out of my dog-gone ice cube nightmare! (sees calendar and groans in disgust) I hate this holiday every Christmas! It's creepy, and too happy and chappy! Big Monkey: But boss,why is it gonna be so happy? Why is it going to be like that! We had stories when we used to have Christmas before we turn bitter and cold. Three years ago, a stupid dog ate the head off my squeaking cyclops! It was horrible! I haven't forgotten. Little Monkey: Well, fixing our masters' spaceship is hard enough without you distracting me. Zim-Zam: Silence, you fools! The robot dog'' goes back behind the ship. The monkeys groan. The sparks from working on the ship begin again.'' Big Monkey: Besides, any moron could fix the ship faster than you. Little Monkey: Says who? Big Monkey: Says I! Zim-Zam peeks his head out again. Zim-Zam: Well... Zim-Zam'' leaps out.'' Big and Little Monkey: Yes? Zim-Zam: Can any moron do.. THIS!?! Zim-Zam'' runs behind a shed while making a high-pitched squeal. He comes back dragging a huge cable with him. He plugs it into the ship, causing sparks. He presses a button. The ship begins to emit a glowing wave that pushes the robot dog to the ground. And his minions are electrocuted and they start screaming.'' Robot Monkeys: (in union) We're okay, boss! Cut to the Chalk Ship. The whole ship is red with flashing lights. Penny, Rudy, Snap and Pip are in it. Penny looks at a monitor that shows the words 'POWER OFF.' She pulls a lever and sparks fly. The monitor changes to say 'POWER ON.' Snap: What are you doing? Penny: I'm trying to put the speed on the Chalk Ship a bit faster than ever before. Snap: Did it work? Penny: Power is restored to the ship once more. It's a good thing this ship really exists! Alan, show me some news! Her computer'' turns on displaying the words 'BREAKING NEWS' then 'Belsnickel Returns.' Penny: Oh no! It can't be! Penny shakes her fist. The TV shows a reporter on WBHB 6 News reporting live.'' WBHB Anchor: Yes, a new king has returned to his people and just in time for Christmas, and it seems it's not a very good sight. Don't believe me? Check out this footage. Cut to footage of 'reindeer' pulling Santa's sleigh. The reindeer are robots that look more like lumpish monkeys. The reindeer at the front of the pack is Big Monkey, wearing bells and a black nose. Belsnickel is none other than Zim-Zam in a his suit that leaves a space open for his face. His sleigh is high-tech looking. Tiny Monkey (wearing an silly elf disguise) throws presents from a large sack while laughing. The anchor appears over the footage. WBHB anchor: The response has been overwhelming. The footage changes to show a citizen with braces. Citizen: I can't believe he's back! Cut to footage of a woman with 3 children. Woman: My heart explodes with joy thanks to this new man! Cut to footage of a crowd gathered around a stage where King Mumbo Jumbo gives a speech. A banner that says 'WE LOVE SANTA' hangs from the stage. WBHB anchor (v.o.): And even our King Mumbo Jumbo has given up his power, making room for Belsnickel. King Mumbo Jumbo: It's all yours, Belsnickel! King Mumbo Jumbo mounts the podium and waves to the camera proudly. Cut to footage of the reporter interviewing Zim-Zam on the street. WBHB anchor: We have the man himself in an exclusive interview. Belsnickel, tell us what's really going on. The WBHB anchor holds his microphone up to Zim-Zam. Zim-Zam: People of Chalkzone, I have returned! To reclaim my rightful place as ruler of Chalkzone! All will obey start this holiday again in this new world order! Oh yeah! Rejoice, slaves! Crowd: Hail the king! The anchor is surprised. WBHB anchor: That is quite surprising. Tell us more about this. Penny pauses the interview. '' Penny: I've never trusted that robot dog! Snap: Zim-Zam? Penny: Yes, I seen him before, right from the start of the medallion repair, I knew him by his looks. Penny holds her forehead, shaking her head. It's been one of those days. '' Rudy: Jeez, Penny... Penny plays back on to the interview. Zim-Zam: Oh yeahhh! And I command all you nothings to gather at the jolly Christmas rallies I'm holding all over the globe... to receive further instructions! Penny: Nothings!?! Oh no! Snap: Oh calloy, not again! Zim-Zam (echoing): Oh yeahhh! Cut to a Stadium. Searchlights shine into the sky. Zim-Zam stands behind the curtains next to his Belsnickel suit, pressing buttons on a remote. Wires are connected to the inside of the suit through the hole where Zim-Zam's face would be. His Robot Monkey minions stand beside Zim-Zam, sucking on a candy cane. Zim-Zam: We don't have much time, minions! I only hope the plan can absorb all the knowledge I have! This is not going to be easy! Zim-Zam runs to the curtains and peaks through at the crowd. Zim-Zam: Look at all those... silly little children! It's disgusting to seeing these pure messes. Robot Monkey: (off-screen) Hey boss, can we go now? Zim-Zam: Not now, monkey! (growls) Zim-Zam! He'' goes back behind the curtains. '' Announcer: People of all of Chalkzone! I give you... Zim-Zam! The lights in the stadium turn on. Crowd (chanting): Zim-Zam! Zim-Zam! (over and over) Zim-Zam: Once, there was a lonely silence, and not a speck of hope in sight And every tiny bubble burst on it's journey to the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again It's a brand new era, about to begin. Zim-Zam's Robot Monkeys, now made into silver, file out onto the stage. A glowing light shoots out from a hole in the center of the stage. Zim-Zam (now in the Belsnikel suit) rises from this hole, under a cloth covering. He throws the cloth aside. The flashing of people taking pictures of Zim-Zam is seen. The crowd cheers excitedly. Zim leaps over into a huge throne. The 'Zim-Zam' chanting stops. The entire crowd has there arms up in the air. A sing-along begins, with Pip as the bouncing ball that tells you what to say. The lyrics are chanted as they appear. The song is accompanied by the dancing Robot Monkeys. Snap, Rudy and Penny, (dressed as elves and their ship is on the stadium after it landed) see what's going on in the stage and try to blend in like the crowd. Zim-Zam: *singing* Now, we've been caught, we've been sold, and left out in the cold Evolution's been passing us by But with this life in hand, we've been given the chance It's time to turn the time Come join me and seize this opportunity, Alter your destiny, One single spark will be enough to put you on top Chorus: Intelligence, say you'll lead the way Intelligence, have a slip today, We owe it all to Joe Snap is seeing some flashbacks he sees on the screen, now freaked out. Zim-Zam: One potion, one ocean One ruler of all It's a vision I've seen It's the world of your dreams It's a pearl in the palm of your hand And with the power of speech, it is all within reach We can go to the Promised Land Female Monkeys: But promise us, now, You'll be our guiding light, Male Monkeys: Such an amazing guy, All the Robot Monkeys: King of the cod, Lord of the krill, The prince of the will At that moment, Snap was shocked by Zim-Zam's appearance. He starts to be scared. Snap: No! The chorus starts after the second verse. This time the Robot Monkeys don't dance and Zim-Zam just blows kisses to the crowd. Chorus: Intelligence, say you'll lead the way Intelligence, have a slip today, We owe it all to Joe King of the cod, Lord of the krill, The prince of the will Snap: *singing poorly* The prince of the will! *Rudy and Penny cover his mouth with their hands to not get noticed* Zim-Zam: You heard what I said! I, Belsnickel have returned for all the good little boys and girls of the world... to announce a new Christmas tradition! Snap: Oy Calloy! Not gonna happen! The crowd gasps and murmurs. Zim-Zam: I want you to start helping of Santa to build a giant teleporter capable of sending all zoners to their internal doom! Zim-Zam laughs. Zim-Zam: My Labor Sleighs will take you to the Snowy Hills, where you will build the teleporter! The Labor Sleighs lower down into the stadium. Audience member: Will being teleported to our doom be fun and Christ-Hanukkah-masy? Zim-Zam: Yes! Of course it will, you fool! Tiny Monkey'' rises out of the stage.'' Crowd: Yaaaay!! Hail Santa! Hail Santa! Penny: Are you crazy? He is evil! Evil! (the audience doesn't listen) They will never learn. Some crowd members throw candy canes, which land at Santa's feet. A huge woman and a row of children stand at the edge of the stage. Woman: Sir? These cute kids would love to sit on your lap and beg for presents! A little girl runs forward. Girl: Pweeeease, Santa? Pweeeeeeee- Snap: Wait, don't ask him! He's a dog! The girl pauses for breath. Girl: -eeeease? Zim-Zam turns his head away from the crowd. Zim-Zam: (growls at the girl and she screams away from his scary face as she runs away) These worthless kids... Zim-Zam faces the crowd. Tiny Monkey sucks on two candy canes at once. The other Robot Monkeys stand guard. Zim-Zam: Eh... um... Of course, filthies. Eh... Come to Santa's cousin, Belsnickel. The Robot Monkeys run out of the way as a barrage of children fly at Zim-Zam. They cling all over him. Zim-Zam: Hey! Ow ow ow ow ow! Ew, ew! Drool! Get off my own clothes! It's nasty and unhealthy! Electricity begins to surge through the suit. Snap: Wait! What's happening!?! The suit twists around. Zim-Zam: What is the suit doing!?! Zim-Zma suddenly looks happy. Zim: Hello, children! Zim hugs the kids. Zim: I love you! All of you! Hey, monkeys! Some Robot Monkeys walked towards him while others pop up. Zim-Zam: Wrap up everything I have and give it to these jolly good people here! The crowd cheers. The monkeys grab random things from the stage and give them to the crowd. One grabs the wire connecting to a snowman with a view screen for a face that says 'OBEY,' causing the screen to go into static. Another grabs that snowman's hat. Snap walks by with a tiny Christmas tree. '' Penny: What are you doing? Snap; It's part of our plan! ''Some elves grab a wreath. One of the snowmen is also given to the audience. Zim-Zam suddenly regains control and stands up. Zim-Zam: No! Give that stuff back! Zim throws Snap, who was trying to pull out another wire. Snap: Watch it, dog boy! Zim-Zam: And get off of me! Now! Zim-Zam knocks all of the children off of him, sending them flying into the snow. Zim-Zam: Get off! Get off! Get off! Zim-Zam faces away from the crowd. Zim-Zam: I didn't tell the suit to do any of that! Penny (o.s.): What's the matter, Belsnickel!?! Zim-Zma turns around to see Penny standing on the stage. Penny: Or should I say, Zim-Zam? Zim-Zam: Penny Sanchez! Penny: How do we know THIS is the real cousin of our good Santa!?! Zim-Zam sits down in his throne. Pip appears from his rocket feet, as he lands softly. Pip: Yes, how do we know, rival? Zim-Zam: Eh, of course I'm his cousin! I have robot monkeys! Robot Monkeys: Laser blaze, activate! The Monkeys shoot lasers from their eyes up into the air. Crowd: Ooooooh! Crowd member: Robot monkeys!! Penny: What stories had robot monkeys? Everyone, remember last time when Rudy saved Christ-Hanukkah-mas? Crowd member: He did!?! Penny: Well, he was a hero, and he is the best heroes of all of Chalkzone. But this dog is a villain! The crowd boos at Penny. Penny: Oops, gotta go. Penny'' leaps back right before another ship lands where she was standing.'' Zim-Zim: Now, now. this is a time to be kind to all the boys and girls of the world. Unless their heads are filthy with pure nonsencical lies! To the Titanium Ravel with the non-believer! Robot Monkeys'' pour onto the stage and surround Penny. Penny mutters in pain.'' Pip: Nooo! Noooo!! The crowd of Robot Monkeys carries her off the stage. Snap rides on top of the crowd as well. Penny: You won't get away with this, Zim-Zam! I won't let you ruin Christmas! Snap: Yeah! Zim-Zam: Oh yeah! Merry Christ-Hanukkah-mas, Penny Sanchez! Oh, have a happy Rama-Kwanzaa-Dan! A large banner with a red angry face unveils behind Zim. Zim-Zam: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Snap: Rudy! Rudy! (dramatic close-up) You gotta help us! (commercial break) Cut to the room with Mr. Twigs. Mr. Twigs: Well, things looked bad for our heroes. The dog Zim-Zam had fooled the whole world. But he didn't know much about this holiday now, did he? Mr. Twigs winks. Pip (o.s.): I don't get it! The child sits on the bed next to Mr. Sludgy. Pip: We have our right to save Chalkzone! Why does he want to take over so badly? What does he have to gain, or to loose!?! And the mechanizations of this malfunctioning stupid Bel-stinker suit completely elude me! Mr. Twigs just stares. '' Pip: Never mind, move on. Mr. Twigs: As I was saying, things looked bad for Penny, Snap, and Pip. Zim-Zam was already preparing for his trip to Snowy Hills when... ''Cut to one of the Labor Sleighs preparing for take-off. Zim-Zam (in Belsnickel suit) monitors the process on a hovering disk along with Tiny Monkey (in elf suit). Little Monkey (with bells and red nose) follows behind them. Robot Monkeys carry machinery and parts into the Labor Sleigh. Zim-Zam: Hurry it up! All this horrible jolliness is getting to me! You, Little Monkey, say something! Zim-Zam points a candy cane at Little Monkey. Little Monkey: I like gingerbread men. Zim-Zam: Stop being jolly! Little Monkey: Sorry boss. The last Robot Monkey, Big Monkey carries the Titanium Ravel containing Penny. The Titanium Ravel has bars made of candy canes. Big monkey tosses the Titanium Ravel onto the floor. Zim-Zam, Snap (in elf suit), and the other Robot Monkeys enter. The hatch of the Labor Sleigh closes and the it takes off. Little Monkey moves some levers around in the control room. In the storage room, Penny watches Zim-Zam pace around and grunts. Penny: Hmmm... Something has Zim worried. If I could just get out of this cell, I.... Penny'' pulls on the bars. She grunts as they break. Penny rolls out and the Titanium Ravel collapses.'' Penny: Hey! Penny'' licks then takes a bite of one of the candy cane bars.'' Penny: These are made of real candy cane! Not titanium. Pip: (appears from the Titanium Ravel, sits on her shoulder) You can say that again. Penny: Pip? Pip: I came here for the rescue. Dib notices Zim approaching and walks over to a nearby Lawn Elf. He grabs its hat, Elf ears, and beard and puts them on. Dib also imitates the creepy smile all of the Lawn Elves have. When the Lawn Elf doesn't react top Dib, Dib shoves it out of the way. Zim walks over to Dib. Dib tries to stand perfectly still. He shakes a little. Zim leans on Dib. Zim: It's funny, robot Elf. I've never seen you before... but you're the only one I can talk to right now, you know? Penny nods her head. Zim-Zam stands up straight and lifts his hand from Dib. Zim-Zam: It all seemed so perfect! Big Monkey: Tell me, boss. Zim-Zam: If there's one thing humans can't resist, it's a fat man with presents! So, I became that fat man's German cousin, Belsnickel! The hardest part was making the suit itself! I used a rare liquid substance. Every molecule is a tiny hard drive I filled up with all the data I could find on the internet. Look at that, that's my favorite part, there he gets all jiggly! (jumps around) Hehe, jiggly! A very soft cyber brain interface allows me to command the suit! Thus, I become Santa's cousin! But I think I'm losing control. I programmed it too well, it collapsed! 'Cause I'm amazing. And now it thinks it is Belsnickel! Anything Christmasey makes it go crazy! And it takes over, filling me with nothing but jolly feelings! I'd destroy it but I need to play Santa's cousin, Belsnickel, 'til I take over Chalkzone completely as slaves! Penny: Slaves!?! That's awful! Pip'' covers her mouth.'' Zim-Zam: Isn't it? But if this suit takes over, it'll ruin everything! Snap'' walks in, with his disguise.'' Snap (singing): We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year! Penny: What is he doing here? Zim-Zam: Snap, you're about to hypnotize my with you magic candy cane? Snap: Nope. The Santa suit starts to morph thanks to Snap pressing a button with his cane. Zim-Zam: Stop it! Nooooo!! The Santa suit makes Zim-Zam jolly. He approaches Snap, meaning to hug him. Zim-Zam: Hey, there! Little fellow, you're so cute! Snap: (blushes and giggles) Thank you pal! Penny'' grabs a large candy cane. She swings it at the Belsnickel suit but it absorbs into it. Zim-Zam turns around.'' Zim-Zam: Wuh-ho ho ho! More Christmas power for me! The Belsnickel suit's gut bulges over and hits Penny. She groans as she falls to the floor, her elf disguise falling off except for one of the ears. Penny rubs his side and groans. Zim-Zam regains control. Zim-Zam: It's Penny Sanchez! Robot Monkeys! Seize him! Some Robot Monkeys approach Penny. Zim-Zam: This time throw him in the actually strong Titanium Ravel! The Monkeys grab her and drag her towards the strong Titanium Ravel. Penny: Why didn't you throw me in the strong one in the first place? The Titanium Ravel opens and the Monkeys toss her in. It closes behind her. Zim-Zam: You can never understand my amazing brain! Hope you like snow, Peppy! Penny: Don't call me Peppy! Zim-Zam presses a button and a trap door under the jingle jail opens. Penny screams as the jingle jail falls and lands on a platform of ice floating in the arctic waters. The Labor Sleigh flies off. A bit of water seeps into the jingle jail.. Penny pulls out his laptop and presses some keys. Cut to Poppa, still hanging on the fence and holding a Thing, with some wires. Pip groans. Pip's watch beeps. He looks at it. Back at the arctic, Rudy's face appears on Dib's laptop. Penny: Rudy! I'm trapped in a frozen wasteland! Rudy: Who isn't, Penny? Penny: And Zim's posing as Santa and he's gonna take over the world! Rudy: That's terrible. How can it help? Penny: I think I also see Poppa, Pip's sister. She needs to be safe, her circuits are gonna fizz! Rudy gives a shocked look, Pip meow in surprise, and he sits on a nearby flower. Penny: So, if you can celebrate Hanukkah-mas, you're gonna hafta rescue me first because- Rudy'' blasts away the top of the Titanium Ravel with the help of the Chalk ship.'' Penny: Rudy? Rudy: Get in. Penny: Wow! The chalk ship! How did you-? Rudy: Pip told me about it and he is like a GPS. Rudy and Penny hug''. The ice slab with the Titanium ravel sinks into the water. The chalk ship shakes around. '' Penny: I hope this isn't the sinking of the RMS Titanic. Cut to the North Pole, where the giant teleporter is being built. Some people carry a large part over to the teleporter. A large clock tower counts down to Christmas. Tiny Monkey (in elf disguise) stands on a balcony with a megaphone. He motions the workers with his arms. Tiny Monkey: Okay, a little that way. No, a little back. Good, good. An explosion is heard. Zim-Zam: Tiny Monkey! Tiny Monkey'' runs inside. Zim-Zam holds a large screw-like device.'' Zim-Zam: The teleporter is almost built, my insane minion! In the background, a group of workers stop to sing 'jingly bells.' Zim-Zam: This stabilizer should keep the suit from going crazy and ruining the ceremony! Zim-Zam grunts and hold the stabilizer up to his head. The suit begins to morph. Zim-Zam: Nooo! Not jingle bells! Snap: Yes! It's jingly bells! *sings as he appears in his elf costume* Jingly bells, Jingly bells, on our special day, we're gonna have some jolly fun and some fruitcake! Jingly bells, jingly bells, now this is our day, world domination is gonna be gone it today we will play! Zim-Zam: Give me those bells! *takes Snap's bells away from his hands* Zim-Zam struggles to remain in control. He picks up the stabilizer and rams it into the head of the suit. Sparks fly and Zim-Zam regains complete control. Zim-Zam walks over to the balcony. Zim-Zam: Enough jolly! Back to work, all of you! Christmas is almost here! The masses are coming! I need that teleporter! The Chalk ship flies along the icy landscape. Penny is covered up in green jelly and no longer wears the elf ear. Penny: I can't believe it! I finally fixed it! I'm actually flying in my own chalk ship! Good think this wasn't the sinking of the RMS Titanic. Rudy: You fixed it!?! Penny: Well... I fixed most of it! Penny'' presses a button and a monitor on the ship's dashboard goes from static to an image of Pip'' Penny: Pip! I need your help! Pip: Look scientist friend, I'm right in the middle of- Penny: But it's Belsnickel! He's- Pip: Zim-Zam!?! Penny: He's evil! And he wants to annihilate all mankind! Pip: I knew this day would come! Son, I'm giving you full access to the anti-Santa arsenal I made when I was a child! The Chalk ship flies over a small piece of land among the ice with a huge stone Pip head sculpture sticking out of it. The words 'Pip friend of the world enemy of Santa Claus' are written in stone. Pip: Good luck destroying Zim-Zam! And merry Christmas. Cut to Snowy Hills, where a Labor Sleigh joins two that are already there. A large crowd of people has gathered. More exit the Labor Sleighs. The clock reads '10 MINUTES TO X-MAS.' Sasha (with bells and in a fishbowl) swims up and lands to a microphone on the stage. She squeaks and the crowd cheers. Snap: Bravo for Sasha! A wonderful seahorse! Zim-Zam: Hehehehe.. Well said, Snoop. Snap: It's Snap! *walks away* Come on Sasha, we gotta leave. Sasha'' dives back into the fishbowl as Zim-Zam approaches the microphone.'' Zim-Zam: Good evening Zoners! The teleporter is ready! So get inside it, hurry up! Crowd member (trying not to cry): But Boss! It's Christmas Eve! Aren't you gonna sing Christmas carols? The Belsnickel suit begins to distort until the stabilizer absorbs the jolliness. Zim-Zam: No! No more singing! Time to teleport! One person in the crowd rises up. Crowd member: And aren't you gonna give us any presents? Zim-Zam: There's plenty of presents for you in the teleporter! Zim-Zam knocks down the microphone. Zim-Zam: Now go! Another person in the back of the crowd runs towards the teleporter holding some kind of stuffed animal. Person: Wheeeeeee!!! He trips at the rim of the teleporter and the stuffed animal bounces onto it. It is teleported. Cut to the Massive. A king eats some popcorn. The stuffed animal is suddenly teleported in front of them, surprising them and making them drop their popcorn. Cut back to Snowy Hills. A cute child in the front row talks to Zim-Zam. Adorable child: But, Mr. Zim-Zam, before I go to that thing-a-majig, can I have a hug!? Zim-Zam: Huuuh!?! Zim-Zam starts to back up. Zim groans. The suit begins to distort. Zim-Zam: Child... so cute! I'm infested! Must resist! No! Nooo!!! The stabilizer pops out. Zim backs up. Zim's face turns around to the back of the suit, and the suit turns around to align with the face a moment later. The suit's arms stretch down and pick up the child, then bring her back to Zim. Zim-Zam: Of course you can have a hug, you cute little woogy! Zim-Zam spreads his arms out, sending the child flying. Zim-Zam: And lets all sing more songs! Zim-Zam dances on the stage. Zim-Zam: I am king! I am king! The Santa suit covers over Zim's face. Zim-Zam: Nooo!!! Zim-Zam's voice is muffled. Zim-Zam's face is replaced by an actual Santa face. Inside the suit, Zim floats around in a void among presents, candy canes, and other Christmas items. Zim's voice is distorted. Zim-Zam: Help! It's all lost. There's no way I can get out of this suit now! The king has won. Robot Monkeys: Ha ha ha ha ha! *stops laughing* Oh. Let's chant. Cut to the outside of the suit. The Robot Monkeys sing 'ha ha ha' to the tune of 'jingle bells.' Snap drags out a sack of presents. The suit tosses them to the crowd. A particularly large present crushes a man. Penny flies over the crowd in a large mech suit which lands at the back of the crowd. Snap makes an impressed noise. Snap: It's here! *looks at the suit* Ooh, now this is a bad thing. Rudy, Penny, HELP!!! Penny: Zim! Your Christmas time is up! A compartment in the chest of the mech opens up and a laser pops out. Penny presses a button labeled 'CANNON' and the laser fires. It hits the Santa suit and pushes it back, as well as destroying part of the stage. The crowd murmurs. The Santa suit lies limp in the snow. It suddenly jerks awake with a demonic look on its face as it absorbs various Christmas items into itself. Huge candy cane spider legs emerge from the ice. The Santa suit begins to emerge, expanding and becoming gigantic in size. Zim-Zam: Malfunction! System overload! My suit is ruined! The Belsnickel suit's arms are replaced by candy cane-colored tentacles that merge together into a pair of candy cane hooks. Zim-Zam: Now I'm going to destroy you! The Santa suit leaps over the crowd and over to Penny's mech. Penny falls backwards. '' Penny: Rudy! You gotta draw something! Snap: My sentiments exactly! ''The suit swipes one of its candy cane claws at Rudy. He draws and grabs a control panel and moves the mech out of the way just in time. The Santa suit instead hits the teleporter. The crowd scatters out of the way of the falling debris, except for Codename 45. The suit swings its claws again and breaks off the laser cannon of the mech. Hunchback woman: Rough him up real good, Johnny! Yeah! Dib pushes a lever and a laser emerges out of the part of the mech modeled after Membrane's hair. The laser suits the Santa suit, creating thick smoke. The candy cane hooks pop out of the smoke as the Santa suit lunges at Dib's mech while roaring. The suit's tongue pops out with multiple prongs at the tip which make grabbing motions at Dib. Dib presses a button and treads appear under the mech's feet. Dib pushes some levers and the mech begins to roll, pinning the suit against a wall. Inside the suit, Zim is awakened. The Santa suit roars. Two large canisters on the mech aim at the Santa suit and open up, revealing a large amount of missiles. Dib presses a button and they all fire at the suit. The suit screams. Zim screams as he starts to flow out of the suit. He falls out of a stream of liquid pouring out of a hole punctured into the Santa suit. Zim: Heh? The suit is weakened! Excellent! Zim presses a button on his brain interface and the suit shrinks down to a toy-sized object. Zim kicks it into the mech's hand. Zim: Now, Dib! Throw it into space! Dib presses a button and the mech's hand closes into a fist. The fist aims upwards and shoots off into space. The Chalkzone Crew: We did it! Christmas is saved! Crowd member: Hey! That boy threw Santa into the cold void of space! Kap'n Claw: Chwismas is wuined fowever. Zim-Zam: Wait! Would I have mutated into a horrible blob? The crowd glance at each other and murmur. Zim-Zam: And would I have teleported you into space? You were so desperate for me that you believed a monster in a costume! That's not Christmas or whatever that name is! Go home! Forget about this! And spend time with your families... er whatever. Blocky: The giant metal boy is right! Prince Patchy-Derm: What fools we've been! Zim-Zam (o.s.): Wait! The crowd members tackle Dib. Dib screams and mutters. Snap: Well that took care of it. Take him to his ice prison. Cut to Rudy's house where the rooms are all decorated with holiday decorations''. Penny and Rudy are chatting about their adventures with their parents, thinking that they have great imaginations. Later, they go the fireplace where they have a moment.'' Rudy: Well, my mission was a success, Penny. Penny: Rudy, are you forgetting something? (points to the mistletoe they're under) Don't you know it's tradition? Rudy: Well, uh, I think it is tradition like you said... (Penny kisses Rudy's cheek as he blushes and he sees her in a flirty look) Oh, yeah. It's Christmas. Rudy'' falls over. Penny giggles. Cut to Mr. Twigs back in Figmentopolis.'' Mr. Twigs: Do you wanna know what happened next? Child: I wanna know what happened to Snap! Mr. Twigs: Okay, Snap also celebrated the jolly holiday we all know and love. Cuts to Snap giving presents to the drawings and realizes that the last one is for Pip, who has a present for him as well. Snap: Um, Pip? Pip: Yes, Snap? Snap: Don't you realize that it's what you give, not what you get? Pip: Exactly, everyone should know about this. Come on, my present is for you, and yours is for me, tradition! Snap: How about we open them later? Let's play in the snow! Pip: Yes! They both head forward to play a snowball fight. Again, c''ut to Mr. Twigs back in Figmentopolis.'' Mr. Twigs: That's the story of the best Christ-Hanukkah-mas ever! But everyone were right that day! Zim-Zam was kidnapped. And Santa lives on. Child: In the hearts and minds of us all? Hm! Mr. Twigs: Exactly! The sky now show Snap in a Santa suit who grabs a cookie in his bag and dips it into the milk, then eats it. He now goes 'ho ho ho' and winks at the camera. Category:Season 6 Transcripts